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I believe tht I have alot to say :)


I got into the finals of kids bp :)
This I never expected.
But tht just made me helluva happy :D

Even though I regret presenting a shitcase in the finals :(
Idk, am I too harsh on myself?
No use crying over spilt milk, but still.


Hm. Idk why I cried tdy :(
Just. Touched a nerve I guess?
Argh shyte. Just.
I hate people questioning my abilities?
Or what?
Idk.

Or whatevs.
Sorry for being such a sore loser =\


But. Awesome work :)
Ceejay, shufei, minghao :)
And yea I seriously thnk wtf was the highest compliment hanrong can give ahahaa :D

I just kinda can't believe tht I'm actually a finalist :D


And I don't care wht the c2pid teacher and headmaster thnk ==;
Blergh to thm.
WE HAVE A RIGHT TO SPEAK OUT DUH.

It's our society your talking abt :(
Mutual respect, understanding and trust work both way.
I hate being treated like thin air.
And I was being damn polite to you ==;

Btw, kasturi turned out pretty nice :)
Must be the exposure to debate.


I kinda doubt abt our future trainings.
But I guess the good thng is tht we'll have more fundings?
More competitions :)
I wanna go for S'pore Opens and varsity debates :)


Whoa. Lotsa ppl told me nt to cry =\
Sigh. Sorry for worrying.
Idk how to explain everythng too.
Hahas. Just, say tht I cry easily thn =\
Thankiew ♥


Argh. Idk. I'm just so happy I got a shot at the finals.
I knw I don't have a right to be sad anyways.
And why the heck shd I be sad cuz of a teacher :)

WORTHLESS WORTHLESS WORTHLESS.


I should be goddamn happy :)
So smile girl.
You've done your best.
Who cares if you reject POIs and is immature :)

Cuz I'm special this way and I don't get my specialty frm you.

I'm speaking like in a debate these days :P
And I lost my voice tdy ahahaa.
I didn't shout anyways.


This would've been a low speaks score for being illogical and inadequately substantialized and no structure whatsoever.

But WOOOTS to my first ever finals :)
May it not be the last.


I'm drained of feelings.
Just, thank you for one last time ♥


Upload my pics in time :)

"所有的 `我開玩笑的` 都一定帶著一點點認真;
所有的 `我不懂` 其實還是有一點懂;
所有的 `我不在乎` 背後都有一點點在乎;
所有的 `我沒事` 背後都還是有那麽一點傷痛."

我喜歡這一句.

Comments:


;you make me happy :)

我想這麽對你說 ♥
eventhough I couldn't do the same for you.



我已與從前的我截然不同.
這點我非常清楚, 那些差別真的太明顯了.

I'm caught in the middle of
nothing and everything.

不想煩惱堅決不定
我想坦白
想些什麽不想寫什麽統統無所謂
最終也不過是無助兩個字.

最終 似乎厭倦了什麽 失去了什麽 討厭了什麽 討厭了自己.


似乎 放開了什麽 不顧了什麽 學會了敷衍 放棄了什麽.
是好事還是壞事?
不顧了.


You know what, right now.
I can actually envision myself quitting drama next year.
I guess it's an alternative.
I'm wondering if I'll mind.
This probably wouldn't be happening last year.
Yeaa, who cares. It's my life.

It's now or never.


If next year, I quit drama.
Become president of debate or something.
Or maybe focus on greenhouse.
Or go learn dance.
Or anything, something.
If I be irresponsible for once.
Let down a whole society of people.
If I just throw away four years of hard work.
Is it worth it, the sunk cost.

I have no idea.
But I'm seriously considering this.

I want time-out, totally.
Time for myself.
Time for friends.
Time other than the future and certificates and good universities.
Time other than the end of the world.

I don't know, time to live?


- hour 24:01.



debate made me happy today too :)
I love how I don't get leftover arguments. x)

I guess it's called confidence :)
Hey there. I hope you stay and don;t leave.


Comments:


好久好久了, 沒把時間留給自己.
總是在有時閒時頓時倒下補眠.
我在看我何時會崩潰倒下了.


今天有些頂不住了.
功課去死吧, 其他的給我靠邊站 :(
我有多久沒有好好睡一覺 沒有追動漫 沒有出街看戯了?
就連哥哥回來都沒有得陪他 :(
不過也罷, 他也有好多人陪啊 :)


終于看過了朋友們的部落格.
好多人 好多心事 :(
我聽説了好多好多, 可是都無法陪伴你們.
頓時覺得這樣的自己, 好失敗好失敗.
漸漸與世隔絕了, 真的好無助好無助.
這樣的自己, 到底是誰的朋友啊 :(


最終也只是自己, 一無所有罷了? ...


找不到誰來依靠, 只好摟住自己.
累了不想擦淚了就不哭了.
麻木了.

自虐罷了.


I'm
; on tht boundary, on th brink of doing sth destructive merely for the sake of rebelling.
; scared of really losing control and just flinging away all tht I've worked for all these time.
; stuck in th middle of caring and not caring, and it's tearing me apart while I don't knw wht to do.

I'm like ths Soviet Union defect, whr I was brilliant but finally gotta seek for political asylum. So be it.

我終于明白爲何一個人總是喜歡逃避, 逃學會, 不負責任也就罷了.


Comments:


Sometimes you just have to cry it out.
Saying I dont care had always been a flimsy excuse.


Comments:

March 2009
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January 2014
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April 2014

I believe tht I have alot to say :)


I got into the finals of kids bp :)
This I never expected.
But tht just made me helluva happy :D

Even though I regret presenting a shitcase in the finals :(
Idk, am I too harsh on myself?
No use crying over spilt milk, but still.


Hm. Idk why I cried tdy :(
Just. Touched a nerve I guess?
Argh shyte. Just.
I hate people questioning my abilities?
Or what?
Idk.

Or whatevs.
Sorry for being such a sore loser =\


But. Awesome work :)
Ceejay, shufei, minghao :)
And yea I seriously thnk wtf was the highest compliment hanrong can give ahahaa :D

I just kinda can't believe tht I'm actually a finalist :D


And I don't care wht the c2pid teacher and headmaster thnk ==;
Blergh to thm.
WE HAVE A RIGHT TO SPEAK OUT DUH.

It's our society your talking abt :(
Mutual respect, understanding and trust work both way.
I hate being treated like thin air.
And I was being damn polite to you ==;

Btw, kasturi turned out pretty nice :)
Must be the exposure to debate.


I kinda doubt abt our future trainings.
But I guess the good thng is tht we'll have more fundings?
More competitions :)
I wanna go for S'pore Opens and varsity debates :)


Whoa. Lotsa ppl told me nt to cry =\
Sigh. Sorry for worrying.
Idk how to explain everythng too.
Hahas. Just, say tht I cry easily thn =\
Thankiew ♥


Argh. Idk. I'm just so happy I got a shot at the finals.
I knw I don't have a right to be sad anyways.
And why the heck shd I be sad cuz of a teacher :)

WORTHLESS WORTHLESS WORTHLESS.


I should be goddamn happy :)
So smile girl.
You've done your best.
Who cares if you reject POIs and is immature :)

Cuz I'm special this way and I don't get my specialty frm you.

I'm speaking like in a debate these days :P
And I lost my voice tdy ahahaa.
I didn't shout anyways.


This would've been a low speaks score for being illogical and inadequately substantialized and no structure whatsoever.

But WOOOTS to my first ever finals :)
May it not be the last.


I'm drained of feelings.
Just, thank you for one last time ♥


Upload my pics in time :)

"所有的 `我開玩笑的` 都一定帶著一點點認真;
所有的 `我不懂` 其實還是有一點懂;
所有的 `我不在乎` 背後都有一點點在乎;
所有的 `我沒事` 背後都還是有那麽一點傷痛."

我喜歡這一句.

Comments:


;you make me happy :)

我想這麽對你說 ♥
eventhough I couldn't do the same for you.



我已與從前的我截然不同.
這點我非常清楚, 那些差別真的太明顯了.

I'm caught in the middle of
nothing and everything.

不想煩惱堅決不定
我想坦白
想些什麽不想寫什麽統統無所謂
最終也不過是無助兩個字.

最終 似乎厭倦了什麽 失去了什麽 討厭了什麽 討厭了自己.


似乎 放開了什麽 不顧了什麽 學會了敷衍 放棄了什麽.
是好事還是壞事?
不顧了.


You know what, right now.
I can actually envision myself quitting drama next year.
I guess it's an alternative.
I'm wondering if I'll mind.
This probably wouldn't be happening last year.
Yeaa, who cares. It's my life.

It's now or never.


If next year, I quit drama.
Become president of debate or something.
Or maybe focus on greenhouse.
Or go learn dance.
Or anything, something.
If I be irresponsible for once.
Let down a whole society of people.
If I just throw away four years of hard work.
Is it worth it, the sunk cost.

I have no idea.
But I'm seriously considering this.

I want time-out, totally.
Time for myself.
Time for friends.
Time other than the future and certificates and good universities.
Time other than the end of the world.

I don't know, time to live?


- hour 24:01.



debate made me happy today too :)
I love how I don't get leftover arguments. x)

I guess it's called confidence :)
Hey there. I hope you stay and don;t leave.


Comments:


好久好久了, 沒把時間留給自己.
總是在有時閒時頓時倒下補眠.
我在看我何時會崩潰倒下了.


今天有些頂不住了.
功課去死吧, 其他的給我靠邊站 :(
我有多久沒有好好睡一覺 沒有追動漫 沒有出街看戯了?
就連哥哥回來都沒有得陪他 :(
不過也罷, 他也有好多人陪啊 :)


終于看過了朋友們的部落格.
好多人 好多心事 :(
我聽説了好多好多, 可是都無法陪伴你們.
頓時覺得這樣的自己, 好失敗好失敗.
漸漸與世隔絕了, 真的好無助好無助.
這樣的自己, 到底是誰的朋友啊 :(


最終也只是自己, 一無所有罷了? ...


找不到誰來依靠, 只好摟住自己.
累了不想擦淚了就不哭了.
麻木了.

自虐罷了.


I'm
; on tht boundary, on th brink of doing sth destructive merely for the sake of rebelling.
; scared of really losing control and just flinging away all tht I've worked for all these time.
; stuck in th middle of caring and not caring, and it's tearing me apart while I don't knw wht to do.

I'm like ths Soviet Union defect, whr I was brilliant but finally gotta seek for political asylum. So be it.

我終于明白爲何一個人總是喜歡逃避, 逃學會, 不負責任也就罷了.


Comments:


Sometimes you just have to cry it out.
Saying I dont care had always been a flimsy excuse.


Comments:

`ning. `yun. `xintian. `shirli. `yin. `qiqi. `thiamyu. `ahboon. .3xiao
.drama .tea `juncheng. `hooi. `ben. `ceejay. `zhaigen. `melody.

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